Baby Steps

I've always been the kind of person who enjoyed plotting out my future so taking things one semester at a time has been a huge challenge. Right now I'm taking Chemistry and Algebra. I decided to take the Intermediate Algebra course this semester in order to brush up before I jump into my College Algebra for Scientist and Engineers course that I need. I'm decent at math but let's face it, I have not done algebra since freshmen year of high school. I was always placed in the honors math classes in high school (there were no AP classes back then) but it has just been a long time so this was a good strategy to re-establish my confidence with the subject. The Chemistry course is an Intro to Chemistry course, which was required before entry to General Chemistry 1. I was grateful that UT had this requirement because I actually never took Chemistry before. I'm sure that Gen. Chem. will be easier with this class under my belt. So right now it is all about baby steps and even though that is not my style at all, I have to live with it and accept that it is what is best. At only 2/3 classes per semester this is going to take some serious self-reminding! My goal for next semester is to take 3 classes. I've decided that my grades for this semester will determine if I can handle a 3rd class. I absolutely need to get straight A's if I want a chance at getting into a medical program. My undergrad GPA was 3.7 but they look at the sciences GPA separately so I'm going for a 4.0 in my sciences. In order not to completely freak I just think "baby steps".

Juggling Act

I now realize that I'm over a month into my first semester and yet to write a single blogpost. That, in itself, is probably the most accurate reflection of my experience thus far. Life is busy and, most of the time, I'm grateful for how quickly everything moves these days. If I stop too long I become overwhelmed by my thoughts and my sorrow, so I rather prefer having the constant distraction of motherhood, homework, work, etc. Although I'm glad to be busy, one of the more challenging aspects of my return to school has been that for the majority of September and October my husband, Big L, has been traveling. This has been somewhat brutal. Single parenting a 4 year-old has a compounding effect on a busy schedule and there have been moments where I almost feel like it is too much to bear. Since I obviously can't quit mothering and I don't want to quit schooling, I have started to consider whether I really want to work.

Work was the one thing that I had never planned to do upon returning to the USA. My initial plan was to study, to participate in some Pilates workshops and to be a mom. An unexpected opportunity to teach dance came about during the summer and I reasoned that I should probably take it since we now had to pay for preschool, something we didn't pay while we lived in Brazil. As the summer months came to a close and the fall started, my involvement in the dance school began to increase. At this point I'm teaching about 14 hours per week after cutting back from 18. In general, I love to teach and I enjoy what I do but with Big L gone I am starting to feel like my job is getting in the way of my son having a normal life and my ability to properly prepare for my classes. Monday through Thursday my only interactions with my son, Noah, are to take him to school and pick him up from school. I have to be at the studio by 4 or 5 most days and I don't get home until well after Noah is asleep. With my husband gone we have had to rely heavily upon a nanny to care for him during my work hours which include Saturdays. Noah has not been able to attend after-school activities and even taking hime to his Saturday ballet class is a challenge since I have to teach at the same time as his class is in session. Further, I had my first to exams on a consecutive Wednesday and Thursday while the hubby was away. I didn't get home from work until very late on both nights before the exams. Though I still made As, I was so completely exhausted during the exams that it was very difficult to focus. This worries me since my first exams were rather straightforward and easy.

Big L has said that after Oct 8th things will slow down and he will not travel as much. For now I've decided to wait and see how October goes before making any decisions. I feel rather confident that this can all work out, so long as my hubby is home more than he is away!