Tips For Moms Starting Medical School - Part 1

Just a few tips that have helped in the first 2 years of medical school as a single mom.

1. Before each semester I stock up on everything and anything that is consumable and nonperishable. For example: cleaning supplies, paper towels, toilet paper, nonperishable foods, toothpaste, etc. In other words, if there is a natural disaster in Dallas, my house is the place to be! This has helped me immensely and also cut down on the weekly shopping lists.

2. Before the start of the school year, I buy 5 sets of uniforms for my son. This way I don't have to worry about any laundry. I also purchase the winter sets at the beginning of the year too so that the transition from fall to winter is easy. If your kiddo doesn't need a uniform, get their outfits, shoes, etc for the entire school year.

3. Bi-monthly cleaning lady is a must! I went the entire first semester of med school without one and that was a mistake. Showers and toilets were not getting cleaned and it weighed on my mind. Shop around before the semester starts and get someone at a decent rate who you can trust. Give them a key but start them out in the summer for a couple runs just to make sure that you can be home to answer questions and give them guidance as to your preferences. Letting go of the cleaning was very difficult for me but for the best!

4. Find a nanny/caregiver. You will want several months to put out an ad (I used care.com) and interview applicants. I started several school before my son started so It was a huge help to have the nanny all squared away. I made a contract and I do the taxes myself, which is really not that hard. Don't pay one of those companies to do the taxes, it is really easy and takes me about 10-20 minutes 4x per year to submit the quarterly taxes. This is where you can save your money! I'll make another post about this in the future.

5. If you like to cook, great, you can make meals on weekends and stock them in the freezer. If you are like me and hate cooking, I built this into my nanny's job. She cooks my son a dinner during the week and does light grocery shopping. During the weekends she only works one day and she will make his lunch on that day. I give her a credit card so that she can pick up a few things for our house when she is doing her own shopping at Costco or Trader Joes. In general, she will keep up with all the food items needed for my son's school lunches and for the meals that she provides. She also picks up extra things if she sees that we are running low. Yes, she is an angel!

Okay, I have to get back to work for now but I will be adding subsequent posts with more tips.

Jude Turns 5

This Thursday is Jude's 5th birthday. For his first 3 birthdays we always made a point to do something special and have a family day. For his first birthday we did a balloon release and for his second and third we released enormous Monarch butterflies. Last year, for his 4th birthday, everything was different. I found myself the throws of my first year of medical school without a spouse, without a single person who knew of Jude and without a spare moment to reflect and celebrate his life. My precious Mama had died just two weeks earlier and I was drowning in school work and exams. This year Jude's birthday will fall on the day before an exam so once again I will spend the day with my nose buried in a book, still without my spouse. Friday, after the exam, I will have a revision surgery on my eyes so I'll likely spend the weekend in recovery and trying to keep up with my school work. I'm okay though, I've found ways to celebrate his life when the opportunity presents itself. We took a trip to Hawaii last December when I was on a brief winter break and I drew Jude's name in the sand of every beach we visited. I also took my Mama's ashes and found a particularly beautiful private beach to release her. Then, after my last final exam for in the spring, I spent a solid week mourning and reflecting on both Jude and Mama. That was a surprise because I didn't realize how much I had suppressed my emotions in order to get through my first year of medical school. After my exam I walked to the garage feeling accomplished and happy but just as soon as the car door closed I started sobbing uncontrollably. I think it was a good 5 minutes before I could even turn on the car and begin to make my way home. The entire year, even in Hawaii, I had not let myself grieve these loss. Suddenly was as if a switch had been flipped and I could finally release a year's worth of tears and raw emotions. I ended up spending the entire week off before starting my summer research project cleaning my house, crying and reflecting on Jude and Mama. It was just what I needed.

I suppose this is the way it has to go for now, but I know that it is all temporary. Today I stumbled across something I said on the Love and Light page on 9/11/11. I said, "This experience has taught me so much about love, humankind and how I plan to move forward with my life goals. There isn't a second that goes by that I don't miss my baby terribly, but I can't regret what I am learning and how I am growing as a person. Thank you for sharing this journey with me." Thousands of beautiful souls reached out to me and surrounded me in love during the darkest weeks of my life. I'm eternally grateful I know that, in making these sacrifices now, I am not only honoring my son's life but I am also putting myself in a position to pay forward their love and kindness.