Mom Status

Today I met with another Mom who is planning to return to medical school and I can't help but be excited for her and energized after hearing her journey. Seeing other moms working towards fulfilling their goals outside of parenthood in their own time and on their own terms is nothing short of inspiring. I've come to understand that our contribution to the medical field is something is so essential. We bring a level of maturity and a skill set that simply can not be matched. I have no doubt that I will be a better physician from the very start because I was a mother first. I've met many moms along the way who chose to hide their "mom status" either during medical school admissions, residency application or for both. It is discouraging to me that these women felt the need to hide motherhood because it represents the egocentric, close-minded mentality that still permeates much of the medical community. I'm Puerto Rican, which is considered one of the underrepresented populations in the field, but I dare say that being a Mom is not only more underrepresented but also more widely discriminated in this field. In one of my interviews I was asked, "how will you manage being a mom and a medical student?" I responded politely but later that evening I wondered whether any of the father applicants were asked that question. Early in medical school I spoke to a mom physician who conducted interviews for one of our home residency programs. She confessed that when she gave tours of the school and was obviously pregnant, big belly in tow, she was often asked by the applicants about work-family life balance; however, after giving birth or before she was showing, the applicants never felt comfortable to ask these types of questions. Just by having a belly and outwardly exposing her "mom status" applicants felt more comfortable to ask the forbidden questions. In my second year I met another mom who was applying to a very competitive field. Ultimately she felt that disclosing would hurt her application because she may not be viewed as being rigorous enough despite the fact that she had a fantastic board score and a strong application. I'm not going to pretend that things are not harder for mom medical students but the fact that our rigor, or assumed lack thereof, is measured by our attachment and love for our children is just ridiculous. Those of us who are in medical school, pulling late nights with a sick kiddos and still showing up to take our final exams, pumping milk for our little ones in empty classrooms, trying to make financial aid money stretch for child care expenses, filling in as full-time parents when our spouse has to travel for work, making sure that school uniforms are ready for next week while we study for board exams and work on research projects and doing any number of things all at once at all times are the most rigorous people that I know. We deserve to be recognized and respected for achieving level of perseverance and diligence that far exceeds most of our peers!